Hard

It's going to be hard, hard, hard
But I must try
To rectify
All that I need to...
I must learn that the world is perfect
Despite Imperfections...
I must learn and unlearn
I must think, re-think
I must not be cheated
When people behave unexpectedly
I must not feel depressed
And wallow in sadness
My emotions must
Re-create a Trampoline
I must bounce back up
I must continue
To strive to be a better person
I must try and understand people
I must never intentionally hurt
I must channelise the love within me
I must Love, I must Love
I must Hope, I must Hope
I must Smile, I must Smile
I must Help, I must Help
I must Laugh, I must Laugh

Honestly...

You know, I have to write. I have to get back to what I like doing the best. I have to re-discover myself. I feel like Life has pulled me by the hair and yanked it hard, to grow me up...But is growing up always a bad thing? I have often been told that I have retained the Child within me...but suddenly, I have begun to worry whether that is a bad thing...I have been told that I need to toughen up, to be stronger to cope with the world...this is an undeniable truth...but is it wrong to retain one's soft and sensitive nature? And I think I have toughened up considerably to be able to lead the life I do...of course I make mistakes, which I do try to rectify.
Life has been kind...and there is this saying at the Clementi MRT station which I ABSOLUTELY love..."There is a calmness to a Life lived in Gratitude, a Quiet Joy." I wish to abide by this saying forever. I will count my Blessings forEVER. I will refrain from falling into a vortex of negative thoughts...I think I need to read more books. I need to watch more movies. I need to satisfy some inner aesthetic cravings...I need something to fill up this inexplicable void which has suddenly carved itself inside me...i DON'T KNOW WHY i AM FEELING THE WAY i AM...My friends used always to say that Diya is the source of cheer and joy...when will I regain my happy-dappy self again? When will I see the silver lining of the Darkest of clouds?
Why am I not feeling a silly joy about life anymore? Life has been kind...I love my students...I have become more confident in terms of time management and professionalism...I am learning from the many mistakes I have made...I have made some unforgettable friends, in my staff room, who have been there for each other, in a way in which I have never seen bonding...wow