A tale

The room was dark and cold. A fire was blazing in her mind. She sat very still in an old, rickety wooden chair. Her thoughts were in a mess...disarrayed, disordered. She shivered slightly, and got up slowly. She paced the room, stopping every two seconds, to take a deep, long breath...she would just let go, she would give up, she would forget...it wouldn't be too hard, or would it? She should have never thought about it the way she had. It was her mistake. She frowned, and her brows JOINED...it always seemed to work out for others...but never for her...people didn't believe her...but it was true..She surveyed the walls, the dampness she detected re-assured her...she would slowly come to terms with the way this was meant to be...and fall into an undesired groove of lfe, which was practical.

...

The Passive Voice of Active Reason,
Kept milling in my mind...
It was one of its kind...
It spoke in murmurs, it told me the Truth,
Which was half-blurred in its illuminated sanctimoniousness...
I didn't know what to think,
I questioned myself
Should I be sad, hen I'd rather be Glad?
This is why I detest getting emotionally attached...
Expectation is a Dangerous Thing...
The world of Fabricated fancies is a safer place,
Life is easier, when it is a fast and furious race,
With no time for extra thought, at a contemplative pace, slow
Is not the way to go...
Thinking is drinking the mind away to waste...
Why expect anything, when Fate already has plans?
Or does it...is it not what we make of it?
I dunno...my mind is spinning,
Yarn upon yarn...none of them ever cme true...
Well, not ALL

May I, please?

Dear Blog,
I would like you to grant me permission to hyperventilate about the aspects of the world which I love!!! I love CREATIVITY...I am totally captivated by Satyajit Ray's brilliance...I mean, how versatile can you get? He was an excellent movie maker, and he touched upon many sensitive social issues, and came down heavily on superstitious practices, ( a film like Devi, for example), he was an amazing author, his short stories are quirky, informative, and very well told, well-spun yarns. His Feluda is UNPARALLELED. And boy, was he an excellent bi-lingual -speaker...he could give established orators a run for their money...and Rabindranath Tagore...OMG! need I say more? How could someone use a language so beautifully? Though it is true that Bengali is a very, very, really very beautiful language, and I love it and am so very, very grateful to have been born in to it...
I also find it fascinating when people do work which can really make a difference to the lives of others...which is why I have such high respect for those who teach and those who heal...as in, doctors and nurses..., and those who do research in areas which need to be researched...
I don't know if I will ever make a difference in any one's life, but I hope to touch lives along the way...and I hope to help them in some way I can...
And I miss my home, but I feel that this'training' was necessary...I was just thinking about something...this can really pull you through life...you can either try your best to 'adapt,' or you can just be 'miserable.' Adapting is easier...
I bought a new pink camera, this is a random insert...but cameras are strange machines? They can really freeze moments in time, and replay and record with uninterrupted ease...

Oh for the sake of rhyming...

The Light engulfed me from every side,
Until, all that I wished to hide,
Was washed ashore, with the in-coming tide,
And I sat down in despair, and cried and cried...

I really don't know why I am writing all this...This is going to be a random post...desultory is another favorite word of mine...I think I have forced myself to focus on something concrete for three years and a bit...which is good, I feel less desultory...though it is STILL a favorite word of mine...and what else...the moon was engulfed in a sea of clouds today...I wished to quote Noyes, and call it a "Ghostly Galleon," but then I realized that the word "galleon," could not be applied to a full moon, as it really means a ship, which is echoed in the moon's crescent shape...I have realized that I love making conversations with people and that I love making new friends...and I am sniffing adventure in every corner, as I used to do of yore...and my imagination insists on running wild, though I keep it in firm check...and I love so many things...every tree is really a friend...

I have realized...

tHAT i KEEP REFERRING TO EVENINGS ALL OVER MY BLOG, IT Is a recurrent motif....why though? I ask myself...I love evenings, the time of the most magical transition...as Light slowly slips us by, changes her garments, dons many hues and steals away, bidding adieu for the night...I really feel like Nature is throbbing with life, at this time...and the soft, black curtain of night unravels itself on us, like a rich cascade of raven-hair...

WHy?

The articulation of Silence

As I was walking home this evening, a wonderful velvety, mellow one, I was just trying to compile the myriad thoughts which have been building up in my mind, over the past few days...And in the uninterrupted stillness, I found myself focusing on every breathing, palpable minute...My past few days have been a rush of activity...I've met so many new people, stumbled upon so many new perspectives and have felt more at peace with the world...I had an interview a few days ago, and just when my adrenaline was beginning to 'kick' me into a state of worried frenzy, I chanced to look upon this fish in an aquarium...and it seemed to be living only for the present moment...and all at once, something just seemed to flash inside me...that each moment should be enjoyed to the fullest as a unique experience...and no mistake you make will last forever...I don't know, perhaps my connection was random, but there it was, just there.
I don't know if I'm really making sense, but I have begun to really appreciate life for its minutest details...like every time I just inhale...I just feel soooo lucky, so blessed...and it has helped me become, or at least strive towards a greater level of acceptance, tolerance and understanding...Besides that...well, you know...