My Blog Reads My Mind

'Man is by Nature a Political Animal'......t'is the qoute of the day on my blog!!!! and to think I came across and ruminated upon this quote thrice today, when reading a book on Comparative Governments!!!!

The Helen Schlegel in me is still alive...

much to my relief.

The heat was unbearable, the humidity terrible,
The curtains inadequate shields for the sun...
How was I to while away, this sultry, resinous April day?
Was there a way, if only one, To bear the burthen of this sun?

I picked up a book I never thought I would...
The front and back covers didn't seem too good.
'Not literary enough,' said my fine 'sensibility,'
This tome is trash, an unwanted liability...
But I felt brave, and flipped it open,
Romance I'd craved all morn you see...
And it did seem to me
That this book would be soppy enough to please me
Mushy enough to annoy and tease me
And apart from the irrate comment or two, (or maybe 3)
It did mostly woo...
my mind. A most troubling yet gratifying find.
It did too help, that I
Imagined, *here I sigh*
**r*** **h**'s form in the protagonist's role,
Down to the very last mole...
And I fished out romance from the most unsavoury parts,
and skilfully escaped the author's chosen darts...
He couldn't pin me down to his biases or opinions,
My imagination flew off on a pair of forged pinions...
What am I writing, oh for the sake of rhyming,
My mind is whining, I should be dining...
SOOOONEER

more sooner

I discovered what it feels like to re-visit a city which never ceases to feel like home, having been mine for a good couple of days.The past week has been indescribably hectic, but rewardingly memorable...down to the rough bed-sheet at the #### hostel room. They passed me by like a whirling dervish, carrying me, a half-conscious, half-willing bundle of contradicting emotions, with it...

An ode to an Arboretum

I am surrounded by beauty of an excessive sort...of a pulchritude which refuses to register itself in my mind...this place should open a botany/ecology department, the whole campus would be an ideal class room...and the campus can also qualify as a literateur's muse...the stone walls, the bafflingly-beautifully confused architecture...I want to get lost here forever, to drift among the lone paths, to stumble upon unexpected flowers, to discover weeping butterflies and benign bees...to listen to the wild murmurs of the Night flies...IIMB, thanks for this chance...I will remember it forever....and also Professor V.M. for being so encouraging and literary!!

MellowWallow

I am deeply unhappy
AND
As a consequence, rather snappy.
I am sad, my head feels bad,
It aches, the world makes
no sense...morose is me,
Even
A cup of my favourite tea,
Didn't quite do the trick.
Prick! go my nerves,
Or maybe they don't
Maybe I should laugh it off...
But maybe I won't...
Maybe I over-react
But I'm entitled to a fault
Why doesn't someone just hug me very tight?

TO TB

I have constructed the warmest and most huggable teddy bear in my imagination...I hug you whenever I'm feeling low...I rarely feel this down...but your soft arms pull me up again...your nose is always dog-wet...thanks for being my cuddle bug, my comforter...I love you. Thanks for that warm, goofy smile...that shy look, which always comforts and dis-comforts.Thanks for being there for me always, whenever I need you...thanks for doing exactly what my mind wishes you to...and Memory, I respect you...I will not let go of the memories of the good times I've had with any of my friends....JU or Cis or BIS or DI...and I will use my 'icy personality' as often as I need to. I love you Cuddles. And I know you will always be there for me...always always.

Leia Broods

Tonight’s a night of indescribable melancholy. Of an earnest, yearning and persistent pain. Strange notions of sadness are floating aimlessly across the air. I am bereft of your company. This is one of those nights when this awareness hits me all too sharply, sharper than the most stinging vinegar on an unsuspecting tongue. I wish to be near you, but this thought pushes us farther apart. What is that music, which is emanating from the moon? What crossword puzzles are the stars trying to solve, edging past one another, amidst the chaos of those clouds, which gift-wrap the sky? Is the breeze whistling that tune we used to hum? Is my imagination flying off with the screeching owl, into the realm of silent seas? My fingers tremble as I reach for the phone, but, suddenly, your voice is not enough. The sound waves which can traverse the Atlantic make me feel inadequate, and make a mockery of our love. I would have said a lot more, but right now I feel like jealously guarding my own intimate emotions and feelings…I will only whisper them in your ear…when I can see and feel and touch your ear…but not now, not like this.

TOEFL aargh!

All's well that ends in a 119! Yes, the ecstasy has finally sunk in...but I can't believe I missed the BOI-MELA...WAAHHH.

adopt your own virtual pet!

Murmur

My heart aches, my soul breaks, the world shakes...
We just don't seem to have what it takes
To make this work out...I shout
At you, I even say a thing or two
I immediately wish I could take back...
I rack
My brains to find a way to make it up to you,
The stakes
Are simultaneously too high and low,
I can, but can't quite let you go.
will somebody show
Me the way to do things right?...
WE fight and love with equal ferocity,
We epitomise reciprocity
And yet, we as a couple atrophy,
I might have worked this differently,
Had I another chance:
I would've re-worked things through a single, conciliatory glance.
But it's a whit too late, much as I hate to admit it.
I'm not entirely sad, nor am I entirely glad...
I mean, you were a cad...
Or weren't you?

Randomness? Random mess.

okayy, this won't be the greatest post ever. WHY?
I am tired
My stomach hurts for some incomprehensible reason.
I am sleepy.
I seem to have sprained my neck.
Did I mention being sleepy?
so Life is living up to its complicated image...all sortsa creepy problems are cropping up...don't ask..
People are strange...weird...okiedokie...but I'm lucky to be frinds with some of the greatest people on the planet.
Sometimes you can extend the olive branch to ameliorate a friendship gone sour situation...and sometimes the olive branch is very primly shaken, as if it were a formally extended hand, and that too in the most condescending manner EVER!
And the there is the problem of ..... what is it that goes on in their heads? or wherever?
and then there is the ever piling course work...
and the application jhaamela
and the anxieties which accompany this arduous process.
And then preparing to leave JUDE...whatever preparation that may entail.
I don't wanna read Dream Play...oh dear...

...

A kiss is flying through the air,
Now it's entangled in my hair...
Why, it's staring me in the face,
It's moving again, what a pace,
But now it hovers, gently static,
Ecstatic...
Paralysed by its own fulfilment.

WHY did I write this? gawwd

The sun had not come up in days. Leia lay in bed and looked up at the fan...its services were not needed for a spell...as afternoon waned away, and evening reluctantly approached, she hoped this night would be better than the last. Vardaleck was being too persistent...at this rate, her parents would diagnose her with an acute bout of anaemia. Why couldn't he go gentle on her blood? She shivered slightly, and sighed. Her enervated body was cold, as cold as Vardaleck's icy grip, his frosty touch. She didn't know how to shake him off. It had all seemed so fascinating at first, being wooed by a Vampire and all. He would literally and metaphorically sweep her off her feet, and they'd graze the sky together, at unearthly, unlordly hours. His cloak would serve as her magic carpet, and she would view the distant world of mere mortals from her newly gained dizzying height. But all that soon changed. Now he only wished for her blood. He'd been gentle at first, loving even, when draining her of her erythrocytes/leucocytes. Now he was insistent, harsh, his demands increasing by the nocturnal minute. She would soon have to leave this world...and then V. would probably leave her, to court another healthy, blood-filled mortal.

?

you eyes said nothing to me that night,
why did they seem
So hollow, so vacant, so bereft of sight?
I tried to penetrate their silent reticence,
but they remained unyielding, shielding
your thoughts. What nonsense
Am I writing? When you
Will do
nothing to
Put my mind at ease?

AVATAR........!!!

ok, so despite what most people seem to think, i quite liked avatar...yes, there were loadsa issues up for analysis in the film: the evils of colonisation, illegal/insensitive land acquisition for mere material gain, the representation of 'the other,' assimilation into a foreign culture...the White gaze of the outsider....but I think the film dealt with all these issues in a way which didn't offend me. I didn't think Pandora was depicted in an 'exotic' way...it was just a very beautiful, enchanting world, bio-luminescence and all!
so some might say that why was it necessary for Jake, an American in his avatar to lead the Navis' to victory? Well, he always re-iterates the strength of the people of Pandora, and he makes a choice to stay on and help them? Is that such a bad thing?

thoughts

T'is that time of the year,
When Spring seems quite near...
But not quite,
though this Spring might
linger for a spell longer
than usual,
being the remnants
Of the coldest, boldest, Winter
I've felt in a while.

In Summer, it takes me
hours to get through each second,
to cheat the sun, to beat the heat.
Monsoon's nocturnal showers thrill me,
AS I spend my nights
tracing the tunes of the rain drops,
as they break into my dreams and tear into my sleep.

This Winter evening, I walked several miles
In the snug company of friends.
The chill of dusk
Settled around me,
Unsettling me, teasing my shawl,
challenging my inadequate sweater.
Imminent night, with its falling degrees,
Was fast falling on us, as we walked.
The mosquitos annoyed us
With their incomprehensible melodies,
And their un-amorous bites.
My ears rejected their bold proximity,
Their un-desirable intimacy,
while they drew out my blood.
Un-charming vampires of winter nights,
I'll settle for Count Dracula any day.

hmmm

there are days when you indulge in some unflinching introspection...and those when you look back upon life, in lazy retrospection....there are moments when you have to make those tiresome, life-changing decisions, there are times when you are on your own, just you and your life. i feel like an architect, (yes, that analogy had to come in), trying to construct something of a career...but i am a desultory being...i wish i could pursue anthropology now...i wish i knew what is best for me...can any one ever know? the concept of one 'best' decision...whether it pertains to one's career/partner/friends/etc is problematic....best among all the options seems a better bet....i am re-kindling old friendships and that feels good. have i really dug my roots into JU? will i miss it as intensely as i still miss school occasionally? i don't know...only time will tell. as of now, i just wanna make some new beginnings.

*blink*

in the light of the tilted orange lampshade,
with the half broken bulb,
the words of the book
stared dimly at me.
my eyes were swimming
in the blurred,
articifial twilight.
my brain kept rejecting
the words, which tried
forcing their entry:
my sleepy mind
the faithful sentry.

a night lamp is just not the way
to prepare for these tests every single day.

statement of purpose

thst's what i'm supposed to be working on, the operative word being obvious. it's simplistic to assume that a 500 word essay can ever hope to contain the desultory ambitions of this confused being. sometimes i wish i could be engaged in activity that's more "hands-on"...not that scholars are remote analysts or distanced aesthetes. it's just that i'm still looking for a calling to respond to, and narrowing down my choices has ALWAYS been the hardest part, ever since i had to choose my subjects for my O levels. i sometimes can't help but feel that i am exceedingly different from most people my age...with the exception of some friends...was it my school, or my family or what? am i over-wary, are my foot steps too cautious? sometimes i read the blogs of others, and more often than not, they invariably strike me as more complex, deeper, their posts more evocative, somehow more experienced. but i have no regrets...it's just so much easier being me...atleast for me...does the world in general has a prediliction for complexity, which is sometimes a synonym for pretension.
and it's not that i lie in a pearly sea shell...i've been through a vast number of hardships which life has intermittently belted out. but so what?

title?

ok...so i was wondering...a recurrent past-time...about things in general...so much rubbish happens in the name of "love and relationships" i see it all over, more so in the microcosm of my uni...how about some old fashioned, marshmallow flavoured romance? now i don't know what i mean by that...but sometimes a tiny part of me wishes that life was a little less complex(read:ulterior motive infested} and a little more, well,for the lack a better word, romantic. hmm. people fall in love so indiscriminately...and most often because they are bored...wow, wayyyy to beat the monotony.
also some people write SUCH pretentious academic essays on blogs...
also some friends were just NOT worth it...so glad that's over...at least for the time being...and i thought things were going fine for once.
and i'm haaaaaaappy about several things as well!! life's good. great and delicious////ohh, and i never grow too old for books...they grow up with me...and i just discovered that Tagore and Beatrix Potter have some ideas in common.
and i still lurve beverly clearey...and for some random reason, the name Darla suddenly appeals to me...
ok, would the randomness of this post qualify for the stream of consciousness category?